i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
