apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
