you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize