I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dignity is for republicans.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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