I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
