yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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