Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize