i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
