redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
