you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
