I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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