Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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