i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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