Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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