Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
