How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize