So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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