can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
