I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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