Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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