One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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