First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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