It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
