genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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