She told me I should be a condom model.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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