Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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