Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize