so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
