My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
