Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
