his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
