fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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