can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
