You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize