I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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