And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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