Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
