Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
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I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
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I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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