my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
