so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
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I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
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I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
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