Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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