i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
