we're blogging at a bar
I got chris browned last night
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
