It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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