Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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