i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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