Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
