im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
