i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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