I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she smelled like a LAN party
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The power of my boobs compel you
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
