I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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