i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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