Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
