He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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