I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
