I didn't shave. On purpose
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
