Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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