So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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