My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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