1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
