NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
