So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize