The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
